The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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