Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
