I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
