he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Randomize
