right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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