What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
