ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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