I have demons in me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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