i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
