It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
