i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
false alarm. still invincible.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
