I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
