The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
