worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
