Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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