Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Randomize
