'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize