i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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