all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We are all done wearing pants today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
