brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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