we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize