Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
