I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
