Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
