It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
