WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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