did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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