I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
