I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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