Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize