He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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