I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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