He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
