I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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