i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
