i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
