I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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