hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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