He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
