Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
