Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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