YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize