Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
