you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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