weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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