need another drink. this is the easiest way
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
