When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
