So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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