Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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