I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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