I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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