Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
