I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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