he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
