He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
