i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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