I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
