Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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