it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
