Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
